One of the first steps is to realize you’re having an instinctual reaction and to notice it. Self talk helps. If you can internally acknowledge that you are reacting, that is the first step to managing it.

Lower your own fear response by being supportive to yourself. Again, internal dialogue that is constructive can help. Saying things like, “I can manage this” or “I feel the fear and I know I can say what I need to say”, internal comments like that can be really helpful.

If you lack confidence in your ability to speak up in a way that will be received well – perhaps consider taking classes that will give you the skills. That will help boost your confidence. I teach and coach conflict resolution skills individually as well as for groups. I can also make other recommendations to you if you need them.

These are just a few thoughts to begin with. Hope this helps.